So over the last ten years or so that means I’m have become mainstream in terms of sexuality and sex. the spread of feminism has gone so wide that it has penetrated even the pornography industry with the surge in the production of feminist porn videos.
It goes without saying that the global feminist fourth wave is already off and running and this has given women all around the world is stand and a voice through the internet to talk about everything from sexual harassment to rape and even body image.
Women are all around the place these days, and one way they have decided to join forces is true sexuality especially as they now have a voice globally.
It is however interesting that with all the emphasis placed on women empowerment it says however interesting is that regardless of the emphasis placed on women empowerment, more and more myths and stigma surrounding sexuality is directed towards the male gender.
I must point out that I do not believe the feminist movement was designed to take away the voices of men at the same time I do not believe that we are giving men the required empowerment for them to understand that they also have a role and a voice when it comes to the conversation surrounding sexuality.
Men are known to be proactive, and so some men have decided to take it upon themselves to be a part of the conversation, but I think there are still a majority of men who have decided to let sleeping dogs lie.
A good number of men have conditioned their minds to believe that the goal of the feminist movement is targeted towards changing some particular group of men such as the rapist, the perpetrator, the molester, the abuser, or the sexual harasser.
Since most men know within themselves that they do not fall within these categories, they have decided not to take part in the conversation because they can’t relate to it in any way. These silent men have concluded that certain men have screwed things up for the rest of men.
I strongly believe that men are becoming more of the type of people that keep women down I strongly believe that men a becoming more of the type of people that keep women down.
Just maybe they are beginning to recognise the importance of acting accordingly, and that causes men to take a backseat when it comes to being open about their own shame and struggles.
My question, however, is if men do not speak up about the troubles they are dealing with issues that affect them how are we going to achieve this global change that we talk about? Ultimately the conversation about healthy sexuality is actually about everyone
Men are an important house of what is currently going on, and it is not in all cases that a perpetrator is a man. Quite often men are also victims of a larger society that places much emphasis on sex but does not invite everybody to take a role in their own sexuality actively.
We need to start giving men a voice in the dialogue to or better still we need to help them find their voices. We should recognise that some male issues may be subtle, but the negative messages still sink very deep.
In this article, I am featuring six important issues that we tend to blame on the male gender forgetting that actually hurts guys as much as it hurts females.
1. Body image problems
Body image issues and not women specific a lot of men have to hide under their clothes some of them take steroids some of them diet excessively and have to suffer in silence when it comes to their body image same way women do.
It’s commonplace to find a woman telling her boyfriend or girlfriends that she feels fat, but it is rare for a man to open up to anyone about how he feels about his body.
So while we encourage women to embrace their shapes and we blame men and social media for perpetuating the size zero image we should also remember that men see ideal male images in the media and they also receive criticisms from women a lot of times.
Bottom line body image issues affect men as much as it affects women; let that stick from now on.
2. Self-esteem issues
If you thought that women are the only ones who suffer from low self-esteem, then you best think again.
As much as this may sound like a no-brainer, it is a problem that men get to face. Countless men get victimized every day from sexual harassment and bullying the same way women suffer these things.
So you’ll need to understand that men are not excluded from this kind of suffering and they also need to be encouraged to share their experiences openly without holding back because of shame.
3. Strict gender identities and roles
Five or six decades ago the rule around gender was a lot simpler. Men had to go to work and be the breadwinners of their families while women just stayed back home cooked cleaned and raise the kids.
In the days we live in more women are beginning to work and men are gradually finding themselves playing the domestic roles as well.
It is true that a lot of men and women find this nutrient very acceptable and consider it egalitarian, but it doesn’t change the fact that it is a shift from how things have been for a vast majority of human history.
This change had created some identity confusion for some men especially when these men received mixed messages from the women in their lives and the larger society.
It is vital that we understand that allowing men to have the freedom to express their feelings and confusion as this would make any negativity or misogynistic message that they receive completely powerless over them.
4. Dating rules
Let’s talk about what confusing really means many men were brought up to believe that they need to ask a woman out or ask her on a date.
These days a lot of women have become empowered to not only ask me out on dates but even pay for these dates and go as far as proposing to them.
Yes, many men really appreciate this break from the norm especially because it is also a break from responsibility but if this confusion is not addressed, it will create more tension later on in other aspects of the relationship.
For as long as we can remember a man always has to ask a woman’s father for her hand in marriage but these days is some women think it is offensive even though there are still quite some women who appreciate this traditional aspect of courting.
You can now see that there are many conversations like this one that we need to have at this point, so it is even more essential for men to begin to speak up and start asking important questions.
5. Sexual relationships
It’s used to be a male thing to initiate dating, initiate sex, and even initiate things like friends with benefits. But these days, an increasing number of women are beginning to seek sex with no strings attached, and somehow we think it’s just very cool.
I agree that this sounds like a win-win situation, but I have to remind you that it can make a relationship with females even more confusing to men.
When an individual is conditioned to think in a specific way right from their childhood, it becomes difficult for them to figure out which end is up or down when this things they have believed suddenly start to change.
It may seem like when women initiate things it is quite nice and easy, but that doesn’t abscond the male gender from their part in being great partners and lovers.
6. Porn addiction
Men on the heterosexual and are the population that is mostly accused of sex and porn addiction usually getting shamed for their complex and natural sexual desires.
Men who get caught by their wives or girlfriends watching porn are usually made to assume they have some kind of mental illness.
Men who even get sex-starved and pushed by these natural desires to pay commercial sex workers to engage in sexual activities get vilified by the society we live in.
It is a good thing that we want women to feel better about their selves and also do great things with their lives, but at the same time, we must be very cautious when we are dress issues that concern the male gender especially in terms of sex and sexuality.
It is very important that we all our men feel safe and also if them the opportunity to use their voices and express their pains, desires, and challenges.
The idea that the male gender is the stronger sex is what has made a lot of people consider men as the world’s biggest evil especially because a lot of women have been victimized by men.
However, do not forget that a lot of men have also been subjects of abuse and women have been the perpetrators to so when we begin to understand things from the male perspective they would find a balance somehow regardless of how impossible that may sound at the moment.
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