Dating anyone can be exhausting as it requires a lot of work and commitment. While it can be challenging for anyone, dating for a single mum comes with more challenges.
But then, you need to know that you are not the only one experiencing these single mother dating problems.
As of 2019, there were over 1.5 million single mothers with dependent children in the UK.
Like you, these mothers go through their daily lives trying to balance their needs and feelings with their kids. One thing you must know is that it is not over yet.
Therefore, if you are a single mom looking for a man, the following are some single mom dating tips that will help you find love again.
Why Dating can be Hard for Single Moms
Is it hard for single mothers to date? First off, dating is hard for anyone. However, it is particularly hard for single mums for many reasons.
The most obvious of them all is that single mothers already have a significant commitment to handle. That big commitment is their children.
Most times, taking care of children means they can not have enough time to commit to romantic relationships to find new loves.
As a single mother dating, you will be doing the job of both parents. That often requires that you put in a great deal of work.
Also, many of these single mums carry scars from their previous relationships. Some of these bad memories from the past make them scared and unwilling to commit to meeting new people.
Dating Tips for Single Moms: how to start over as a single mom
If you are ready to hit the dating road again as a single mum, the following are some dating advice for single moms that will help you.
You can hold on to these tips as single parent dating rules.
1. Get Prepared
There is hardly anything that works out well without proper planning. Therefore, the first piece of advice for single mothers willing to date again is to plan ahead.
Now is the time to look inwards and envision the type of man and relationship you want. Finding something will only be easy when you have an idea of what it looks like.
As you visualize your ideal man and the relationship you want, remember to evaluate yourself. What kind of person are you at the moment?
Ensure to write these things down. They will help you gain clarity about your goals and also help you see through yourself. If you feel the need to improve in certain areas, then do so.
2. Don’t Keep Your Kids Secret
The worst mistake you can make is to hide your kids from your dates. Most women do this because they are scared of getting rejected by their newfound lovers.
However, this will only lead to time-wasting in the long run. Your kids are not some plague or disease. They are your badges of honor, and you should treat them as such.
Do not feel sorry or explain why you have kids. Instead, let the other person come to appreciate you for who you are in your unadulterated form.
3. Try to maintain focus while on dates
Maintaining focus on the first few dates when you are starting over can be difficult. That’s normal because, as a mother, your instinct is to keep your kids safe.
However, you need to cut yourself some slack. Once you have left your kids in good hands, try to create a connection with the person you are on a date with.
Take the time out to learn about this new person, their dreams, passions, and work. Listen objectively and see if their values match yours.
4. Don’t introduce all your dates to your children
Your children should only meet your man when things are starting to get serious. This is because children can act funny when they notice different men taking out their mom.
Some might get angry, while others might feel jealous. Besides, you want to set a good example for your children, especially if you have girls.
So, please keep all your dates to yourself until you are sure he is the one.
5. Take things easy
Being a single mother and dating someone good is a beautiful feeling, and it can make you lose your guard too early.
However, you need to be conscious of yourself and take things easy, so you will not get hurt in case things might not end in a happy way.
Give yourself all the time you need to know this new man. Read some pieces of advice on how to protect your heart when dating and try to follow them.
You should know that if your relationship will go far, then it must stand the test of time. Give him time to adjust with the kids and let them also get to know him as well.
5 Ideas How to Meet Guys as a Single Mom
1. Coffee Shop
If you are looking to meet men to start a committed relationship, you should try the Coffee shop or Starbucks.
The coffee shop is a great place to start because you will mostly find responsible men that have jobs at coffee shops, especially in the morning. When you go there in the morning, try your best to look good. Wear makeup, and try not to look desperate.
The gym is another good place to meet men, especially if you love strong muscular men. The good thing about the gym is, you will always find a man there no matter what time of the day you go there. Plus, some gyms provide childcare services as part of their services.
However, while you dress cute with your gym clothes, ensure you do not look too desperate as you might send out the wrong signals.
Another great place to meet men for dating for single moms is at the bookstore. Remember the adage that says ‘readers are leaders.’ In addition, you can always bring your kids to the bookstore with you; that way, your prospective date can see that you have children upfront.
4. Car Shows
Car shows are excellent because they allow you to exercise and connect with your Kid outdoors. It is also an opportunity for you to meet someone with the potential for a long-term relationship.
Starting all over is a significant step to take as a single mother. It is a whole new world out there to explore, and hopefully, you will find something worth it this time. You might have to learn afresh how to date when you are a single mom because things are now different. But then, it’s a journey that pays off in the end. Try your best to take your time as good things come to those who wait.